I just know that I prefer to believe. it is easier. than questioning what is obvious. what I find more logical. although this clashes with what I have been taught. or I have been told to believe.
when I believe I am myself with myself. when I don’t believe I am myself against myself. so I believe.
circles of light. and other things. I have always perceived them. initially I was too young and quiet to ask. I used to accept everything as normal and continue my exploration bewitched and amazed. then came the questions. not mine. other people’s. and I tried to adjust myself suspecting I suffered from hallucinations or some eye disorder. but I have never trusted medicine and least of all those who would suggest me to use drugs. so I went back to my beginnings. to that happy time when I used to explore without worrying too much.
I see. again. I have never stopped. and I believe. but without being impatient for answers. they always come. uninvited. in due course.
sometimes I happen to meet other people who believe. even much more than I do. but I somehow have the feeling that they talk a lot. too much. and deprive the thing of all the magic and wonder. and I keep quiet. sometimes I meet people that don’t believe in anything at all. and I keep quiet.
why should I discuss natural things such as the sky the sun the moon and the circles of light?
I see them. the circles of light. around me. around the people I meet. around objects. I feel them. and sometimes when I find the time and the way and the sun to concentrate I call them. all. inside of me. I make them converge to my abdomen. just below the navel. you tell me which chakra is located here. and I gather their heath that penetrates me reaching the deepest part of myself. and transforms itself.
this is my only concern. sometimes. to look for that heat. that light. that concentration. quietly. on my own.
Lina Vergara Huilcamán