IDOUTORE

I am an autodidact. My grand-father was a painter, and when I was a little girl I loved to watch him drawing. Actually, he was an engraver, he made cameos. But the few times he happened to paint, I liked to watch him, and little by little I started doing some art too. Back in primary school and, most of all, in middle school, I used to draw all the time, because I had a wonderful teacher who encouraged me and persuaded me I was very good at it. Afterwards, I also found her on Facebook and this made me very happy. But I never studied art or drawing, because my mother convinced me that becoming a painter would have meant being penniless like my grandfather. We come from Torre del Greco, not far from Naples. Our town is specialized in the production of cameos, so it is full of engravers, and there is a lot of competition. Therefore, most of them are dirt-poor, and my mother didn’t want me to end up being dirt-poor too. I got a diploma in accounting and then graduated in political science, and during high school and university I almost completely quit drawing because I had to study. After I graduated, for various familiar reasons I kept living with my parents. Since I couldn’t find a job, and also, since I wanted to do what I liked, I spent a couple of years free from work obligations, so I started painting. It was at that time that I sent my drawings to ILLUSTRATI. Then I found a part-time job, but I kept drawing all the rest of the time. I decided to change life, change city, and move to Florence. I sent my curriculum for a job, and when I was already in Florence and had decided to commit to art and not work anymore, I was called for a job interview, and they hired me. I am a fatalist, therefore I thought that my destiny had decided so, that this would be my life, so I cried for two entire days, after which I started a full-time job, leaving my drawings for the evening.
I still work in accounting.
After some time, I can say my mother was right being practical, but if I could go back I wouldn’t make the same choices.
If I had a daughter and I had to give her a piece of advice, I would tell her to do what she likes, because doing what we like is priceless. Yet, I don’t blame my mother: my parents lived a different life, in a different period, and economics were more important back then.
I often think about quitting my job and committing to art, but I find it very difficult to close this chapter of my life and open a new one, because I’m actually quite happy with my job.
I also must admit that I am very practical and good at working with numbers, and since I know all about taxation I am really afraid to become a freelance. Many artists don’t know what that means in terms of taxes, but I do! I always think that sooner or later I will have to do it anyway, to quit all, and so I wait.
I need change from an emotional point of view, but I refuse it from a rational one.
All my drawings start from a detail, which is almost always the face of a character. Then, day after day, I add things, little things, into the belly of this character or outside, objects… but all is built little by little. I never start from an idea, I rather start from a feeling. When I start a drawing, I never know how it will end: there are new things happening every day that end up in the drawing, which collects the story of a week or a month, telling the story I built step by step. And I feel the work is finished when the drawing takes all the place it was meant to. And yes, the story often continues from a drawing to another.
I draw somewhat unconsciously, even if I know what I put into each of my drawings. I also like to hear what other people see in them, although the two things only rarely match. Perhaps my drawings are a little enigmatic… but I believe that, in the end, you like something also for what you see in it. Some years ago, I started reading The Art of Joy by Goliarda Sapienza, but I couldn’t finish it, because I couldn’t understand the main character, I couldn’t get the sense of her actions. I don’t expect the characters to do what I would do, but I need to understand them. It’s the same with drawings: people need to find something of themselves in them, need to understand them, in order to appreciate them. That’s how it goes for me, and not only with books, but with everything. I love poetry books and short stories. At night, while I’m drawing, I listen to audiobooks. On the website of RAI Radio 3, you can find a lot of audiobooks: the podcasts they broadcast during the program Ad alta voce. So, lately I didn’t really read books, I rather listened to them. I like to listen, so I can do different things at once. (Florence, February 6, 2019)