A rag doll sold in 1944. Her mother wrapped it as a present, she was six years old maybe, she didn’t think it would be worth a few oranges and something more. Since then she wonders: “Who bought that doll? Do you understand what was happening at that time? Who knows why they bought it”. Months spent hidden in a room, without windows, a closet as a door. A notice with her father’s name. Every day at the Gare du Nord, she as a little girl searching among the crowd, waiting for the trains he will never get off from. Going back home, the neighbours who have guarded her few possessions, the surprise for that recovered mirror. An unconditional love, for the first time a man who invited her to dine at the nicest restaurants, she who did not even know what ham was… Him coming home every Sunday with the books from the marché aux puces and a bunch of flowers for her. Him who has never looked in a different direction from hers. Him with his heart made of glass, leaving her so soon. Her, who always says: “Of love I’ve had everything, I need nothing else”. Her who thinks that some things should not be said because they are secret de famille and that, although I am forty years old, I am the little one of the family. Her who, well in her seventies, one day rings us up and tells us that she has moved from Paris to the seaside, where she used to go with him, because she feels like taking a walk, exploring the world, chatting without any fear. Her who lives as if everything was yet to be discovered. Her who never stopped in front of the horror, the loss. Her who grows roses and hope. Her who taught me that “freedom is like a gold ingot placed on your pillow in the morning”. Her who stamped courage with fire onto my heart. She is Irene, ma mamie.
10 suggested readings
JAG HETER INTE MIRIAM
Majgull Axelsson, Brombergs 2015
NONNITUDINE
Fulvio Ervas, Marcos y Marcos 2017
CONGRATULATIONS BY THE WAY: SOME THOUGHTS ON KINDNESS
George Saunders, Random House 2014
THE GUSTAV SONATA
Rose Tremain, Vintage Publishing 2016
iL NONNARIO
Lorenzo Naia, Verbavolant 2016
THE YEARS
Annie Ernaux, Seven Stories Press 2017
ANNE’S TREE
Irène Cohen-Janca and Maurizio A.C. Quarello,
Hoogland & Van Klaveren 2012
MAUS: A Survivor’s Tale
Art Spiegelman, Pantheon Books 1986
THE SUMMER BOOK
Tove Jansson, Sort of Books 2003
A DAUGHTER’S GIFT OF LOVE: A HOLOCAUST MEMOIR
Trudi Birger, The Jewish Publication Society 2002